Is GenZ the most emotionally distant generation? Two of EDIT’s writers, Tina & Mariyah open up the conversation.
Tina
When did real love turn into either a right or left swipe or a quick one night stand? What is going on in our generation and why is nobody able to settle. It feels like everyone is looking for the one and at the same time hooking up has become incredibly normal.
Mariyah
I, for one, think that my mom was right. It IS that damn phone. We really saw a surge in making intimate experiences a trend; the more you have and the more you don’t care, the cooler you are.
But this whole thing doesn’t have anything to do with coolness, I mean sex isn’t something you should do casually, it’s still the closest you can get with someone. Our generation seems to have lost the ability to really connect with people. If you are happily in a relationship right now, then this article isn’t about you, don’t get mad. But looking around, people look like they don’t know how to open up to others and let love happen. So many people are focused on finding their true love, but aren’t ready to be honest and let people see them.
It is a bit ironic that people get the closest they can to a person physically but stay the farthest away emotionally. Maybe it’s because you know, we’re young. We need to experiment: see what we like, what we don’t like etc. etc. But at the same time, can you really do that in a relationship?
You probably can, yes, but I think it’s more about the freedom and the safety that our generation seeks for. People have their doors shut and don’t want to open them for anyone, since they are afraid of getting hurt. And I understand that. Getting hurt is something that no one enjoys, but it is something you have to risk, if you want to truly connect with someone.
Making a connection is exhausting. You have to put in so much effort for something that has so much uncertainty. And then there’s the spiral you go into when you get left on delivered for more than 2 hours. Surely if you view it as casual, nothing more, then you get the benefits minus the “complications.” You can truly focus on yourself (the most famous saying ever amongst this generation.)
Keeping it casual & hooking up has become some kind of trend these days. It’s easy right? You meet someone, maybe on a night out, bring them home / go home with them and leave afterwards. The chance of getting hurt is minimal, and the feeling of safety is what feels comfortable. But is it worth it? Yeah a little bit of fun here and there, but aren’t we wasting our time? Going around from one to another, showing our bodies more than our feelings. Doesn’t that sound a little depressing?
It’s interesting how you mentioned “safety.” How can we feel safer after being so vulnerable and exposed? If anything, you might start to get attached without realising it and then what? The other person is still distant from you so then you’re in a one-sided situationship. That cannot be better than being in a relationship where your love is reciprocated and appreciated. What even is a situationship by the way? It’s really shocking that this word even exists. Clearly, it didn’t appear out of nowhere. People have been in these situations since the early 2000s. We’ve been repeating this cycle since so long ago? Though there was an exponential increase in it during the 2020s.
I don’t know if this is too personal for this article, but maybe someone, who reads this, can relate. I find myself more and more often staying emotionally distant from people, just so in case they decide they aren’t interested anymore and they leave, it hurts less. It gives me this certain feeling of safety that I like, when it comes to connecting with people. But it’s also the thing that holds me back and what makes it hard to let people in.
I think the concept of ‘just in case’ really limits people but I completely get where you’re coming from. Obviously no one wants to go through a heartbreak again. But, learning from your experience doesn’t mean you stop loving and expressing yourself entirely. Humans are perfectly capable of finding a healthy balance. They shouldn’t let their past traumas dim their ability to love. Because what a shame it is to deprive another person of the love you give so endlessly and beautifully. Ethan Hawke said it best when he mentioned “the sun doesn’t care whether the grass appreciates its rays, it just keeps on shining.”
If anyone feels offended right now, please don’t. This article is here to put this topic into perspective and not to judge people for what they do. Everyone can do whatever they want and whatever makes them feel the best. This article just wants to point out how affection and love has shifted over the last generations. As it is very obvious that our generation seems to have a hook up boom and a little bit of a struggle with opening up.
At the end of the day, everyone is in charge of their own life. Do what you love and own what you do. Don’t take shit from anyone <3
Writers: Tina Karl & Mariyah Khan
