Here we are again: the clock is ticking, and we’ve officially entered the most stressful and panic-inducing time of the year! Some people have it in their blood (lucky them!) – but for others, the art of “finding the perfect gift” remains an unsolved mystery. If there’s a gift-giving guru out there reading this, please share your secrets! Do you have a magic gift fairy? A crystal ball? Or are you just somehow reading my mind while I scroll through Amazon at 3 AM?
Anyhow – for the rest of us, choosing the right gift feels a lot like trying to solve a Rubik’s Cube on a rollercoaster. But mercilessly the “season of giving” is once again knocking at our door, blasting Christmas carols that will be stuck in our heads until spring. You and I, we’re not escaping it. But it’s time for a counterattack! Instead of dodging it, let’s lean in! No pretending here. On the contrary, if you’re ready to snag the coveted title of Worst Gift-Giver in your circle of friends and family this year, you have come to the right place. Here’s a list of the 5 must-(not)-presents that are guaranteed to make you gain precious points in the race to that crown!
1, The Generic Mug
Unless your recipient is a tea sommelier, an oversized novelty mug that won’t even fit in the dishwasher will not earn you any bonus points. Sure, it’s practical. Sure, everyone uses mugs. And while you might have no clue what else they like, you can at least bet they drink coffee – if not, well, maybe they’ll appreciate your attempt to encourage hydration through hot beverages. But let’s face it, no matter how you frame it, a mug is the ultimate symbol of minimal effort. Not completely thoughtless, but definitely shouting, “I didn’t want to overthink this.” In the end, it will most likely sit right next to the cup set inherited from Grandma – way in the back of the cupboard that no one ever opens. Overall, 7 solid points out of 10 are well-deserved.
2, Socks (Yet Again…)
Socks are cozy and functional. A fun pattern will add some extra… quirkiness?! – good luck pairing those with anything in your wardrobe! Nothing says ‘I ran out of ideas’ like a pack of socks. Do not even try to start babbling about their usefulness, because so can be said about toilet paper… Yet, somehow, it doesn’t make it under the tree. Socks are the gift equivalent of bringing a jug of tap water to a cocktail party: they’ll keep you hydrated, but no one’s exactly buzzing with excitement. It’s the gift that says, ‘I care (especially about your frozen toes during winter) but also, I have no clue what you actually like’. Generous 6 points for you!
3, The Self-Help Book
You’re basically saying, ‘I think you need fixing, and here’s the manual.’ or even ‘You could use a little improvement.’ Don’t worry, it’s not passive-aggressive at all! Just make sure your recipient is in the right mood for some little unsolicited guidance. But hey, they’ll thank you later when their life is transformed, right? Or maybe you’ll just find yourself off the invite list next year 🙂 At least, this gift will give your score a boost: you’ve hit the jackpot, 10 out of 10 points for you, that audacity has been repaid!
4, The Scented Candle
Ah, the classic gift for those you don’t quite know but still feel obligated to shop for. Who wouldn’t want a pineapple-mango-sandalwood fusion to brighten up their space. And even if you choose “Holiday Spice” or “Fresh Pine,” it somehow still smells more like burnt plastic than cozy ambiance. Sure, it’ll look nice on a shelf, but the moment it’s lit, it’s more of a fire hazard than a home fragrance. Still, it has its charm – and worst-case scenario, it’ll come in handy during the next power cut. Humble 4 points, but hey, a win is a win!
5, The Ultimate Kitchen Gadget
And now, the GOAT of first impressions: the Ultimate Kitchen Gadget. It takes centre stage for the first… two minutes? Okay, maybe five – while your lucky recipient marvels at how they ever survived without a banana slicer, avocado pit remover, or pineapple corer. And then, just like that, it gathers dust in a drawer for years, or until the next opportunity to re-gift it arises. A very debatable rating, but it deserves at least 8 out of 10!
So, there you have it: a foolproof guide to becoming the worst gift-giver in your circle. Whether you choose the mug of mediocrity, the socks of I-just-couldn’t-be-bothered, or the scented candle of awkwardness, let’s face it: we all know that the best gifts are the ones we end up laughing about for years to come. So, take a deep breath, embrace the chaos, and remember that we’ve all been there. But hey, they say it’s the thought that counts – and while the execution might not always hit the mark, credit should be given where it’s due: it’s the thought that counts, even if that thought didn’t quite land.
Happy gifting (or, should I say, mis-gifting)!
Writer: Silvia Dal Sasso
