Oftentimes I wonder why it’s so easy for me to spontaneously say yes to hangouts a day, or even 12 hours, before my exams. The obvious answer is that I don’t want to study. Maybe I need a break. Maybe I’d be less overwhelmed if I gave myself a chance to breathe. Well, it’d be concerning if I wasn’t overwhelmed considering I barely study.
Recently I’ve come to a different conclusion: it’s because of the preemptive fear of missing out (FOMO.) The kind that convinces you that if you don’t go out, you’re actively missing a once in a lifetime experience. Something that will absolutely not happen again next weekend. For me, that usually looks like a night in the kitchen with my friends, staying up until 4 a.m. and acting as though none of us have responsibilities.
So I negotiate with myself.
“I’ll just go for an hour.”
“I’ll bring my notes.” (I won’t,)
“I’ve basically studied enough already.” (Debatable.)
I leave my dorm knowing full well I have an exam in less than 12 hours. The air feels different. The stakes feel higher. Every laugh hits a little harder because there’s a tiny voice in the back of my head whispering, “You shouldn’t be here right now.” But in the moment, I don’t care. Or maybe I do care, just not enough to go back upstairs. I never think these things through anyways.
For a few hours, the exam stops feeling like the center of the universe. Sometimes going out — even when it is objectively a terrible idea — feels like reclaiming a bit of control. Like saying: there has to be more to life than deadlines, grades, and whatever topic I was pretending to understand three hours ago. At university, this starts to feel less like a personal flaw and more like an evolutionary development. We are a species specially adapted to keeping one eye on the present and the other on a better plan happening somewhere else: FOMO sapiens.
Then morning comes.
“Suddenly, the fun version of spontaneity becomes a very unfun version of self-sabotage.”
The alarm hits differently when you’ve had four hours of sleep and questionable life choices. Past-me feels like a completely different person—one I’m not sure I trust. This is the other side of that FOMO. Because while going out might save you from missing one night, it can cost you the next day. The stress hits differently when you’re tired, underprepared, and trying to remember if you ever understood that one lecture in the first place. Suddenly, the fun version of spontaneity becomes a very unfun version of self-sabotage. It’s not about saying yes or no. It’s about knowing why you’re choosing either.
Sometimes the memories, the laughter, the feeling of being alive and present matter more than squeezing in three extra hours of half-effective revision. But other times, it isn’t really about fun at all. It’s about not wanting to feel left out. It’s about the fear that everyone else is somewhere better, doing something better, being somehow more alive than you are. And that is usually the moment worth pausing in. Because missing one night probably will not ruin your social life. But sabotaging your peace of mind the next morning might not be worth it either.
The truth is, there is no perfect balance. University is basically one long experiment in asking, “Was that a good idea?” and then living with whatever the answer was. (Now you know.) So if you go out the night before an exam, own it. Enjoy it properly! Don’t spend the whole night half-present and half-panicking about what you should be doing. And if you stay in, own that too. You are investing in a version of yourself that will thank you in the morning.
Either way, you’re not missing out.
You’re just choosing your consequences.
Writer: Mariyah Khan
